working on Sunday

this weekend I worked two 12-and-a-half hour shifts at Papa John's. it was exhausting. not so much because of the work, but because I didn't get a full night's sleep. Saturday was ok. I did fine without being too sleepy, and I made $98. but on Sunday I went to bed around 1:30 am and woke up at 8am to get ready for early service at Convergence Church. so later that day I was pretty sleepy while I was driving. I ended up making $74. I was up late on Saturday because I wanted to watch the season premier of SNL. Tina Fey was hosting, and I love her. it was pretty good. my favorite sketch was the fake promo for the HBO series Girls in which Tina plays an Albanian woman who lives with the girls. it was pretty good. here it is: SNL Girls Promo  


the service at Convergence was good. Mark Snider preached. he is the head worship leader. he preached on the spiritual battle we all face as Christians against spiritual principalities. he quoted Ephesians 6:12 and told some stories of encounters with demons. he said one time some people were praying over him and someone asked him if he struggled with pride. and he was taken aback and said he didn't think so, but as they continued praying he felt a force jump on his back and wrap around his neck and sort of choke him a little. they continued praying and rebuking pride and it left. he said that to indicate that the spiritual battle we are in is very real. I could relate with his story. I often feel a light choking sensation around my neck. it isn't keeping me from breathing, but it's like something is wrapped around my neck. he also shared the Scripture about the woman with the spirit of divination who followed the disciples around in Acts. he said the word for divination comes from a Greek word that means "Python". he said he believes this spirit of Python may be the reason why many believers struggle with being fatigued, depressed, and lacking spiritual appetite for the spiritual disciplines. he shared the Scripture about the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and said that each armor represents a spiritual truth we should focus on to ensure we have the full armor of God. I actually sort of get irritated when I hear people talk about the armor of God. it sounds like an easy, simple solution to life's very difficult problems. but I liked that Mark wasn't preaching about saying a prayer over yourself everyday. he was saying that these were each spiritual truths that would help us in the battle. the helmet of salvation represents our eternal security, and the fact that God's got our back. the belt of Truth doesn't just mean reading the Word of God, but focusing on whatever Truth the Lord has given us in the form of prophetic words or simply just walking in integrity and being truthful. the breastplate of righteoussness represents the righteoussness of Jesus and also walking in righteoussness and making righteouss choices. the feet of the readiness to preach the Gospel of peace represents the peace of God. he said the shoes the soilders wore had cleats, which gave them traction. so this peace of God gives you traction as you forcefully advance against the enemy. I don't really know what that means, but it's an interesting analogy. I looked up the word traction and the first definition seems to apply the most: "the adhesive friction of a body on some surface, as a wheel on a rail or a tire on a road." so if the peace of God gives you traction it must mean that it keeps you grounded or something.
the sword of the Spirit is not just any Scripture but it's Scripture or truth for the moment, a breathed word or Scripture that addresses the situation at hand (similar to Jesus' encounter with the devil in the wilderness). so you get the idea. the different armor pieces represent truths that can help you in your fight against the enemy. and of course reading Scripture is part of how we do that. to be honest with you, I really struggle with reading the Bible, which I know is one of the spiritual disciplines that is supposed to help you fight the enemy. the reason I struggle is because while I'm reading I feel the physical sensations of the enemy attacking me, and when I finish reading they haven't budged. so I get discouraged that my reading doesn't do anything for me. ocassionally, I'll pick it up and read it for an hour. what it does do for me is give me a personal sense of satisfaction that I did what I COULD to enrich myself. so I guess that feeling is worth continuing. I haven't done so today, but I will eventually. I don't read it every day and I don't think you have to read it every day, but I agree it's a healthy thing to do. right now I just felt like blogging and putting some of this out there. maybe it will encourage someone else. I am continuing to believe for deliverance. every day I believe it's possible. and my attitude has changed over the past year as I've been working. I used to think that I had to embark on a physical journey (a "Holy Spirit trip") before I could encounter God. I believed that I had to set out and be homeless and continue walking until I had an encounter with the Lord. but now I believe that would simply put me in a 911 situation where I am totally stressed out and the Lord would come through for me, but it would be in spite of what I did, not because of what I did. so now I am calmly staying at home and working as much as I can to pay back my parents and eventually save up for a car.  I actually managed to work 38 hours last week, which is a big deal for me. that's almost a full time job. I believe that diligence and work is a spiritual discipline, so that is the discipline I am most exercising at the moment. but I will make more time for Scripture. if anything, the sermon with Mark Snider reminded me that I do have tools to fight against the enemy, even though it feels like simply a pro-longed period of torment that I have no control over. I believe I do have authority even though it feels like I don't. what I do believe is I can't control the timing of my deliverance. knowing I'm victorious keeps me focused and helps my attitude, but it may not bring about my healing sooner.  I simply have to keep focusing on truth until the deliverance manifests. and I have been encouraged in the past few days because there were moments when the Holy Spirit touched me briefly and my head started tingling (in a pleasurable way. not a painful tingling) that lasted several seconds. this happened two or three times. it was encouraging.  also, I noticed on Sunday while I was working that the day was unusually beautiful. the sun was shining brightly (but it wasn't too hot), the birds were chirping, and the trees looked more alive. or at least it did to me. Sundays always seems special to me, as if the collective worship of the saints around the world is contributing to global peace or a feeling of love. the very day itself seems to be healing. I love these little signs from the Lord that he is  present and moving behind the scenes. I just wish I had been able to spend the day in rest. I really value rest on Sundays. I will have to tell my manager I can't work EVERY Sunday.  I look forward to greater manifestations of healing in the days to come.