Embracing Delight in Jesus

I am going through a unique molding process. I am looking for the next place of destination, be it employment or a mysterious Kingdom assignment that is unfolding slowly overtime. I have been transitioning out of dependancy on others (my parents) and beginning to live and act in dependancy on Him. I am seeking some help and counsel, but moreso I am seeking Him who alone can satisfy me and make me whole. I live for the expression of God's Love in my life. I believe in receiving first His Love, because it is this experience that enables me to simultaneously live in the flow of His continual Love and affection while ministering that same love and affection those around me. this act of receiving is called soaking in His Presence, or waiting on God. it requires stillness and patience and a hunger and thirst for more than what this present world has to offer. it requires the ceasing of all other activities so as to focus, for a moment, on Him and Him alone. it is only in this activity of drinking in and communing with God that I am able to love others. I am not capable of loving in and of myself. I need a touch of Grace, a a breath of life to my soul, in order to accomplish the Grace of Love. and it is a Grace. it cannot be a work, for as soon as love becomes a work, it has lost its initial dependancy on God's Love and becomes independent, self-reliant. so before I do anything else, before eating a single food or before acting out any other activity, be it good or bad, I center myself on Him. I meditate on Him and His Love for me. I receive the revelation of His abiding, continual Love for me, the kind that never fails, the kind that never ceases to amaze, the kind that makes getting up every morning worth it, worth it to see Him again, to be and to love and to live with Him again. to see the Glory of the Sun again. I live for these moments. I live for an outpouring of Grace. I want to live in a continual awareness of the Presence of Grace on my life. I want to be able to say of myself, as the Psalmist said, that "one thing I desire, and that I will seek, to dwell in the house of the Lord forever." and I know I am that house, I am that temple for Him to dwell.

this transition from summer to fall is a reveiling parallel to my own transition. while I seek His healing from those who have either walked away or not bothered to help me in my time of need, I am continually brought back to His unfathomable riches of mercy and Love. He is so dedicated to my well-being, more concerned about the details of my soul than even I am. His right hand upholds me, embraces me. It is in His gentle arms that I find rest for my soul. Even when it seems that He as not as near as before, I am assured of His Presence next to me. hearing every sigh, noting with delicate attention every ache and pain in my heart, and hovering over me with waited breath for every supplication and prayer I am able to speak forth.

I know He Loves me. I know it. and He will bring me through this transition quickly and seamlessly. I know it. He is coming.

Love,
Matthew